Get a Free Virtual Lap Dance

Gamer

Lionsgate’s upcoming film ‘Gamer’ has a great viral website promotion. Yes you can get a free lap dance! Continue reading “Get a Free Virtual Lap Dance”

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Bungie’s Upto Something: “Keep It Clean” Teaser

Well, Bungie has been upto something for a while. After their fanciful liberation from big daddy Microsoft, they’ve been upto something. But what? Rumour has it that they’re working on 3 different games, while another says that they’re also working on a Halo game. Bungie did say, however, that they wanted to explore new IPs.

This looks like it. Bungie has released something of a teaser on their site, which looks like a pseudo-ARG-viral-marketing thing. Like always it’s something all serious-looking and dangerous and stuff. The image above says “Keep It Clean” in a rather fractured kind of way. And below is this transcript of mystery:

<\\> UNSC OFFICE OF NAVAL INTELLIGENCE

<\\> CLASSIFIED SIGNALS ARCHIVE [ONI.SEC.PRTCL-1A]

<\ OPENED PER OFFICIAL REQUEST [DARE.V.500341(S1)]

\ SOURCE: URBAN INFRASTRUCTURE A.I. [SUPERINTENDENT]

\ RECIPIENT: PROWLER “TOKYO RULES” [COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]
>> NOTATION KEYWORD SEARCH: “EMERGENCY” “DATA” “CORRUPTION”
>> (…) ~ QUERY RUNNING
>> (..)
>> (.)   \ VTT TRANSCRIPT AS FOLOWS…

[SUPERINTENDENT]: “METROPOLITAN EMERGENCY!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “METROPOLITAN EMERGENCY!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “METROPOLITAN EMER–!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “We know. Personnel are en route. Can you–”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “DETOUR! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “–put Kinsler on the line?”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: [UNITELLIGIBLE > DOG GROWLING(?)]
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “Sorry, what?”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “BE A HERO! REPORT VIOLATORS!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “Oh, come on… ”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “METROPOLITAN EMER–!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “Listen. We have a report of core data corruption.”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “I need you to upload your–”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “PARDON OUR DUST!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER] “–logs for the last twenty-four hours!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “KEEP IT CLEAN!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “KEEP IT CLEAN!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “KEEP IT CLEAN!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: [UNINTELLIGIBLE > PROFANITY (?)]
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “We’re sending a team, alright?”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “Until they arrive, all additional comm needs to route through me.”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “Repeat and acknowledge.”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “OBEY POSTED LIMITS!”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “YIELD TO UPHILL TRAFFIC!”
[COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]: “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’…”
[SUPERINTENDENT]: “PLEASE REMAIN CALM!”

\ ~ QUERY COMPLETE

\ ARCHIVE CLOSED \>

I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. If we’re going to look at hints:

  • “Metropolitain Emergency” can probably hint at an urban disaster, of some sort.
  • “We’re sending a team”: a Gears of Wars-style squad or some sort of a tactical team in general?
  • “URBAN INFRASTRUCTURE A.I. [SUPERINTENDENT: An AI, possibly added for humorous effect, but maybe a funny villain like GLaDOS?
  • “RECIPIENT: PROWLER “TOKYO RULES” [COMM.DUTY.OFFICER]”: Japanese setting? Is this Metropolis mentioned above Tokyo? Or maybe it’s just a Japanese Comm. Duty Officer?
  • ““YIELD TO UPHILL TRAFFIC!”: I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. But it just has to be a clue.

Whatever this is, I have my eyes on it. All this looks very intriguing. Hell, I’m a sucker for viral marketing!

Cloverfield monster attacks Chuai Station, could be Ninja!

A Ninja in Cloverfield?

Ah, Cloverfield – there has been no better viral marketing in the world. In fact, I’d warrant that the viral marketing itself has gotten more people on than the movie ever will. It’s coming out in only 11 days now, and we still know what/who the great monster guy is.

Continuing the viral marketing, a new video (or rather, series of videos) have appeared across the Internet, that take the form of news channels reporting that the Chuai Station that belongs to the Tagruato Corporation has been mysteriously wrecked. According to Tagruato’s site, Chuai Station is located quite a ways off the North American East coast (a good place to start ravaging New York) and was “opened” in September 2007.

While of course, we have no doubt that the monster should be at work behind this, Tagruato Corp. released a statement:

There has been an altercation at the Chuai Station. Although details are limited at present time, be assured that Tagruato is taking every measure necessary to ensure the safety and well being of all staff and crew. Specialty teams have been deployed, and are working aggressively to restore harmony at the site.

The cause of the problem is currently being investigated, although it is suspected that an eco-terror cell is responsible for the disturbance.

We have top investigators on our side. Everything will be resolved shortly, and all problems will be fixed. If you have any questions, please contact us at +81-3-5403-6318 for further instructions.

For those of you not in the know, Tagruato Corp. doesn’t actually exist, and it’s only part of Cloverfield’s vast viral marketing campaign.

 

That’s the Spanish version of the video, with the German and Italian versions also available (they all have slightly different footage, so you’ll want to check them all out). Very conveniently, there is no English version yet.

If you observe the videos carefully, you’ll notice that there are gun-toting ninjas escaping the station. Perhaps this is all a secret ninja conspiracy, whereby they secretly control the world? As you know, Ninjas are too fast to be seen – and if we are seeing them in the video, they’re probably decoys! There is a ninja conspiracy afloat, people. Be very, very careful.