With Duke Nukem Forever right around the corner (you wish), it seems that 3D Realms has already gotten some ambitious plans in their delayed minds. Scott Miller from 3D Realms is collaborating with Scott Faye, producer of the upcoming Max Payne movie. The result will be just that: a goddamn Duke Nukem movie.
To start with, there’s the severe lack of potential for Duke Nukem. He worked as a hero back in the 90s, that too as a gaming hero fabled only among hardcore gamers and relatively obscure otherwise. Can he seriously come close to making a dent on film?
Add to that the utter lack of storyline for Duke Nukem. The whole thing was pretty much a pop culture rip-off that worked as a pastiche or a self-parody of itself (see what I did there?) and something to fill in the gaps while to blasted the next pig-faced alien. That for a movie? Go to hell.
And finally comes what 3D Realms are perhaps best known for. Will the movie even make it? Or will it spend another century “under development”?
Right, okay, let me get this straight. First we have rumours that Gearbox is working on Halo 4 for the next Xbox. Now /gamer reports that it won’t be Halo 4, but a goddamn Duke Nukem game. That’s right, Gearbox is developing a Duke Nukem title, according to the rumour.
/gamer’s mysterious source contacted them, informing them that there is, in fact, no Halo 4 going on. Also, he mentions “When it is announced fans of a series from the past will be surprised.” Note how he says “a series from the past”.
Now, they are contacted once again, with their source hinting at an article they wrote about Duke Nukem Forever. Why the source is not willing to state directly is unknown, but by his enigmatic words, this most probably would mean that 3D Realms is handing the reins of Duke Nukem to.
This wouldn’t be very surprising. Hell, it’ll be great, considering we won’t have to wait another century-and-half for another Duke Nukem game. Besides, the guys at Gearbox are trustable enough to deliver a quality shooter like Duke Nukem’s calibre.
While everyone is getting all excited about what games they’ll bring to this year’s E3, there’s one development studio that doesn’t give a shit about E3. That’s 3D Realms, the infamous and mysteriously funded studio that is still, after 11 goddamn years making Duke Nukem Forever. That is one video game, guys. The entire Halo trilogy started and ended, but the Duke is still not ready.
Scott Miller, chief of 3D Realms updated the progress of DNF at Next-Gen:
“Development is swimming along nicely. Seriously nicely.”
How very informative. Seriously nicely. Maybe that’s code or something, because it sure as hell doesn’t say a thing about a game that has been under development for 11 years. And about this year’s E3:
“It’s just that we view E3 as irrelevant nowadays. In fact, I wasn’t even aware it was coming up.”
There you go, guys. No Duke Nukem goodness for you this E3, better luck next year. Or the next. Or the next. But I can assure you this, that the game sure as hell ain’t gonna release in your lifetime.
So, 3D Realms has finally come out with a teaser trailer for Duke Nukem Forever. The only question that I have is, why should I care?
On 3D Realms’ forums George Broussard posted a day before the trailer came up that the trailer would be up around noon CST and continued to thank everyone that worked on the trailer for their hard work. I just think it’s a little ridiculous that he felt the need to tell everyone that it was coming out like it was some huge announcement that everyone was waiting for.
I watched the trailer, and it was absolutely nothing special. It just showed Duke Nukem doing the same stuff that he always does. Maybe if it showed a new villain or at least something that would make it look any different from the past Duke Nukems, I would somewhat care.
You would think that after working on the game for over a decade they could come up with something a little more interesting. I actually think that I was more excited for the game before seeing this trailer. And now that the teaser is out, how long do you think it’s going to be for some actual game play footage?