BloodRayne (-)

In 18th century Romania, the world is full of vampires. A half breed, human/vampire named Rayne is set out on killing other vampires. And stuff happens… need I say more?

BloodRayne is the type of movie that isn’t that bad, but definitely isn’t good. It isn’t the type of movie that you want to vomit at all the horrible acting and dialogue sequences, but is on the verge.

The issue with BloodRayne lies not within the directing of Uwe Boll, for this is actually a huge improvement over his original video game movie House of the Dead. The visual effects in BloodRayne are actually decent and overall are the best part of the film. The music does absolutely nothing, I mean if this film didn’t have any music in it, the quality of the film would have just been the same. That’s how useless the music is in this film. But again it’s the acting that absolutely sucks.

Hearing B-quality actors try to speak in 18th century dialect hurts thy ears. Sure it could have been a lot better if the script writers actually knew how to write in this form without every sentence feeling tacked together.

I’ve never played a BloodRayne video game so I cannot compare how exactly this film works in relation to the video game. But I know that if I was a fan of this game series, I would want to suck my own blood.

The story itself leaves the viewer feeling nothing what so ever. It’s pointless. Need I say more?

I myself have to ask, why would I bother watching this film? First off I saw it for free on On-Demand. Secondly I liked the visuals: the gory blood splattering and Rayne’s rage sequences. Would I pay money to see this film  no. Absolutely no. But if I came across this on a Wednesday night with nothing else to do, right before Thanksgiving, and I could see it for free, wasting an hour and 35 minutes of my life doesn’t sound that bad.

Again BloodRayne is not the worst movie of all time, but it surely isn’t a good movie.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (+)

Hyrule’s not in danger, and you don’t have to save it. Just kidding. Grab your sword: the hero’s back.

Link’s back for his first (sorta) next-gen adventure. Let’s admit it: it’s graphically a Gamecube game. It’s a good looking one, but visually a Gamecube game nonetheless. It was too far in development by the time it was announced for the Wii, but trust me, you’ll get over it. It’s a beautiful game on either console. Maybe it’s not quite pushing the Wii’s graphics, but still quite gorgeous. The game engine is a retooled version of Wind Waker’s cell shaded environments. After the hubbub around the cell shading, Nintendo opted to do a traditional 3D look. But they made the conversion beautifully.

Control wise, the game hasn’t changed much from Wind Waker or any 3D Zelda game, going on back to Ocarina of Time. Pick up the controller, and it’ll come flooding back to you. You’ll get the hang of it in no time. Any controls that have been changed for the Wii’s unique controller come to you quite naturally. Shake the controller, swing the sword. Shake and hold forward on the control stick, stab the enemy. Shake the Nunchuk, spinning sword. Throw in Z-targetting, and you’ve got combat down. Slain enemies litter the ground soon enough.
NOTE: A flick of the wrist is good enough for swordfighting. You do not have to wield the controller as if it were actually a weapon. Of course, you’re always welcome to swing like a maniac if you want.

The story is, well, Zelda-esque. Your world is being taken over by the Twilight, and of course, as the re-incaration of the Hero that has been saving Hyrule since the dawn of time, it’s up to you to stop it. This time though, you’re an adult at the beginning of the story, and you even already have your trusty steed Epona at your side. Why? Because you’re a shepherd. Ah, fates, how lucky you’ve made us. S’all right though. You’ll be a badass soon.

The Zelda series has grown through time, adapting itself to each generation of Nintendo console, and turning out beautifully each time. Even though this game was programmed for the Nintendo Gamecube, it’s just as wonderful to play for the Wii, and I can only wait in anticipation for a true Wii Legend of Zelda game to be released.

Wii Sports (+)

A compilation of various sports games, which help introduce players to the Wii Remote.

If you can imagine a game that is a mix of tech demos that play well and are fun, you’re imagining Wii Sports. Wii Sports allows players to become adjusted to the brand new Wii control scheme. While sports games are usually difficult to play, Wii Sports is a simplified version of multiple sports games such as baseball, tennis, and boxing.

It’s due to their simplified gameplay that makes them for the perfect party game. Players can either by aggressive or can play casually. For the first time in video game history gamers can play the same game exactly how they want to play it. Stand up or sit down this game is something that you’ll get into even if you’re not a huge sports fan.

There are no major leagues in here. All of the characters in game are the same that can be found in your Mii creations. Each player can make their own team members and play as them in game. Imagine creating characters that look like you and your friend and then play a boxing match together. For the first time you can fight your friend without actually hurting them.

The Wii Remote sound effects help bring the player into the game world. Hearing the sound of a ball hitting a bat or a tennis racket is very satisfying. The game doesn’t use any music in game, which practically works in favor of the game. If you are playing with friends being able to taunt them without having to scream over an additional noise layer, the in-game music, is very nice.

All of the games except for boxing allow players to use only the Wii Remote. For new comers to the system this definitely helps them ease into the new control scheme. Within no time, players will be having a blast as they make a knockout or a homerun.

In total Wii Sports has 5 different sports: tennis, baseball, golf, boxing, and bowling. It’s a wide variety for a free game that is included with the Wii system. This game is practically the reason to buy a Wii console. It delivers on everything that Nintendo has told gamers to expect from the Wii console. This is the first game in a long time that has actually made me sweat and yet I still want more!

BlockHeads Clash (+)

Venture to a strange place inside cartoon labyrinths where the only weapon is your head, literally.

Think the PC needs fun arcade action games? Well Out The Box Software has developed just the game for you! BlockHeads Clash brings the player into a creative and colorful world that not only looks good, but is actually fun to play.

With up to 4 players and over 12 stages in 3 worlds, it’s a quality game. The presentation from the music to all the menus, fit the style of the game world. Even though the characters are all made out of blocks, they are unique and look great.

The gameplay itself consists of the player smashing their Cube guy’s head on the floor to knock down their enemies or break crates. Every time they smash their head the Cube guy’s energy level goes down. This provides an interesting twist to the gameplay as it limits the amount of times you can smash the Cube guy’s head before dieing. Of course occasionally the enemies and crates have energy boosts.

The stages are divided up into sections, where the player has to find the location of a key to unlock a certain door. The keys can be found by smashing enemies, crates, or solving puzzles. The puzzles in the game are very simplistic. Most of them include some form of button that the player has to find and smash.

The most amazing thing is that this game can run extremely well even on old machines. Yes I’m talking about Windows 2000 on a 1ghz processor!

This is an absolute charming game that I highly recommend to anyone who loves old school platform/action-adventure games. Its simplistic controls make it easy to play for all ages. For under $10 it’s a great bargain that is available on both the Mac and the PC.