Review: Coraline – It ain’t worth much

Coraline

I had the fine opportunity of watching Coraline for $14 at an AMC Theatre. A small premium charge was added on for the 3D glasses. Is any children’s film worth $14?

First off I need to get this RealD, the new term for 3D, off of my chest. I have never seen a RealD film before. Learning that I had to pay an additional fee for the RealD glasses was not cool. At the end of the credits the film asks viewers to ‘be green’ and recycle the glasses when they exit. Wait, what? Why would I give back these glasses that I paid for? Like I want the theatre to resell my glasses to new costumers for the same additional price. Screw that.

RealD works much better than the old 3D films. The colors are vivid and clear. However, Coraline did not feature many eye-popping 3D moments. I actually took off my glasses several times throughout the film and found out that the film was not in 3D at all times. I could see which parts were in 3D and those that were not. It felt more like a gimmick. If RealD is the future of cinema, I either want some major 3D gags or I do not want to wear the glasses at all.

The 3D effects in Coraline made the film feel as if you are a viewer that is looking into this world rather than ever feeling like you are a part of the world.

The story is pretty bland. Coraline lives in a dull world, where her parents ignore her. She finds out about an alternate reality. In theory this world is supposed to be better than the one that she lives in, but it too feels rather heartless. In the end, her parents are still terrible parents. No one in this film changes for the better. What kind of a kid movie is that?

Yawn. I have seen this story many times before and Coraline does nothing to change it. In fact, Coraline has such a weak story that it relies on turning into a video game half way through the film. Coraline has to reach certain objectives to win the game. Blah. If I wanted to be playing Coraline: The Video Game, I would be. BUT I’m not! I’m watching the film. I expect a decent story.

Now you could say that this is more of a teenager movie. From the trailer, I would have to agree. It does not seem like a kid’s film with its dark creatures and environments. By the time that these darker events happen you will want to be either running out of the theatre or trying your best to fall asleep. I tried to do both. Coraline is a slow and boring film. There was nothing that could captivate me into loving this odd world.

The art design and animation did look great, but that was it.

I say pass.

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