Perspective On Console Wars

What does the world need? Love, of course! But we have yet to figure out a way to massively manufacture emotions (though we try). So what’s the next best thing? Video games, (duh)! Video games have forever changed the course of history. Jack Thompson would even attest to the fact that games like Call of Duty 3 inspired WWII. I know what your saying, “Oh Burbank, greatest blogger in the world, we are not nearly as brilliant, hansom, or awesome as you! We’re homeless people and video games are expensive!! How will we ever get our hands on a video game?!!” and this is where the problem lies.

One solution to this problem is to try to pass a law which gives everyone infinite money, but I’ve already tried that and found that no one in congress will listen to good logic these days (Bush administration). Besides that, there’s nothing much you can do, but shop thrifty. Frugality alone will get you nothing, but a pack of bubble gum. You must multi-task and look for the highest quality and most hyped games as well. Good games = fun. Bad games = whatever the opposite of fun is, I don’t know since I only play good games (be like me). Your choice of games is very important, entertainment is not the only thing you must consider, it also has many social implications. If you bring a game like, hmmm….. lets say….. “The Teletubbies” to your friends, they will reject you forever and you’ll go blind, but if you bring a game like “Gears of War”, you are insured eternal life in heaven, plus you have an awesome game to play there. “But Burbank, we cannot think for ourselves, please guide us,” just hold your horses.

The first thing you must you must consider is your choice in what are called “systems”. “Systems” are machines used to run video games. There are various systems out there. As of now, the main systems are the Wii, 360, PS3, DS, PSP, and the computer. That’s right, you can even use your computer as a system and it may seem most logical to do so since you already have a computer at your disposal, but this may not be the best choice. The “console” systems run on your TV which may be far more convenient. They are the Wii, 360, and PS3. Let us examine them for a moment.

The 360 was the first to be released. It was nothing revolutionary, it was exactly what everyone expected. One cool looking wireless controller with a bunch of cool looking buttons connected to a cool looking box which sends cool looking HD graphics to a cool looking HDTV(not included). Many Wii fans have argued that graphics alone cannot sustain a system, but the beauty of the 360’s power is that not only does it create the possibility of awesome graphics, but allows for far greater expanse, detail, and even gameplay innovation which was simply not possible with the predecessor generation systems. Some blaring examples of this are games like Crackdown, Saints Row, Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, and the upcoming GTA IV and Assassin’s Creed, though there are many others. The 360 has a somewhat moderate price of $400, but you can buy it used for as low as $250. It is also famous for it’s “X-Box Live” service which allows you to play and communicate with other players online or download extra content, it has a price of $50 per year which is not bad. Another good thing about the 360 is the fact that since it has been out longer than both the Wii and the PS3, it already has a large lineup of great games. Unfortunately (or fortunately) there aren’t many Japanese games for the 360 (no RPGs? GASP!) so you will mostly be playing first person shooters.

The second console to be released is the PS3. The PS2 was the winner of the last generation’s console war and Sony, creator of the PS systems, was confident that with all the the support it had that it would win the war this generation as well, oh how wrong they were. The PS3 boasted an extreme amount of horsepower which greatly surpassed that of the 350 and even the 360, a power so extreme that some PS3s have even exploded and I do remember that the day they came out there was a black out here where I live. This power, unfortunately (or fortunately), was not so much greater than that of the 360 that much a difference could be seen in graphics. And what about games? Well, most of the PS3’s good games will be simultaneously released for the 360 and besides those, most of it’s games suck. It also costs $600. So why would you want a PS3? Well, it has all these cool non-gaming features which you don’t really care about. It’s shiny. You can get attacked by muggers if you’re caught with one (and use the opportunity to become Batman). Yeah, don’t buy a PS3.

Now, the third console to be released is the N-Gage. The N-Gage is probably the greatest system ever invented, you’ll definitely want to look into this one. It’s a cell phone and a game system combined into one! It also has internet! (NO, don’t buy the N-Gage under ANY circumstances)

Now, of course, the Wii. The Wii does things far differently than any of the other consoles. Instead of falling into the same trap the PS3 fell in, the Wii does not concentrate on the quality of the graphics, but on the quality of the gameplay. The Wii uses some new fangled motion sensor technology to mix up the gaming experience. When shooting at alien monkeys, you are actually aiming your controller at your screen and shooting. When flipping a pancake, you actually make the flipping motion with the controller. Needless to say, this is hilariously fun. It also has a great price of $250! Unfortunately (it’s unfortunate any way you look at it, sorry), the Wii’s lack of graphical capabilities is it’s Achilles’ heel. It’s not bad that the Wii doesn’t have HD graphics since most people don’t have HDTVs, but even so, the Wii’s graphics suck, even on normal TVs. They look even worse than that of the Gamecube, some say they border along N64 quality which I must say is a complete lie, Goldeneye 64 definitely looks better then some of the games I have seen for the Wii. The Wii also lacks good games, of course the game developers had little time to develop for the Wii since they just got the developer kits last Summer and the good games are bound to come eventually, but the fact still stands that most of the Wii games that have been released suck. The Wii also has a new “Virtual Console” system which allows the player to download cool games from old systems which is cool except that it seems that only a handful of games are currently available and why would you want to buy them when they are all widely available in ROM format? The Wii also boasts of online play which hasn’t been seen yet either. So do you want the Wii? Maybe, but I think it will be better to wait for the “Wii Too” to come out when all the bugs are cleaned out and HD graphics are added.

For the time being, I can safely conclude that of all these systems, the X-Box 360 is the way to go. So go buy it. Now. If you already bought a PS3 or a Wii, don’t fret, your time will come, but the 360 is really your best bet if you’re looking for a good system right now.

Ah, and what about games? Well, you have already found the answer, my enlightened apprentice. The answer to that question is to keep checking STUFFWELIKE.COM

Your truly,
Burbank

P.S.
DON’T BUY THE N-GAGE!!!!!!!

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