Category: Watch

Child’s Play being remade, promised to be “more terrifying”

Chucky, from Child’s Play

David Kirschner spilled some beans when he was asked to spill some beans on his upcoming movie, Martian Child. But the beans he spilled had nothing to do with Mars, but lots to do with Child. To avoid further annoyance, I’ll put this straight – Kirschner is working on a Child’s Play sequel, but this one is going to be a remake of the original. That’s right, folks Chucky is coming back.

Before you start signing death threats, let me inform you that things can actually be good here. Kirschner has worked on every Child’s Play movie to date. Also, the screenwriter of the original Child’s Play is writing the script, which is supposedly very true to the original with a few twists here and there. No director has been attached yet. All the details above are subjective to change, however, as the movie is still very, very early in production. Kirschner has promised, though, that this one will actually be “more terrifying”. Sounds good, baby.

Considering the sort of horror we get these days, I’m thinking it’d be great to have some of that old-time horror again. Or perhaps a fusion of time, if they get a modern director on it. Also, I wonder if Chucky is going to be the same, classic red-haired, freckled doll or a new piece altogether. I suppose you can expect violence to be severely increased in this movie (as if it was any less in the original). Maybe a viral marketing campaign some time before the release? That’d be plain awesome. I can’t wait!

Titles revealed for next Rambo, next Harold & Kumar, Wolverine movie

It appears that Hollywood has been absorbed by an ugly orgy of revealing title names, hoping to make them as bold and imposing as possible. While we haven’t encountered anything that beats the next Indiana Jones movie (whose title is reportedly as long as the length of Russia), we have come across some interesting title revelations, which will now reveal before you and dissect with pristine beauty.

First, the next Rambo movie. It’s early title was “John Rambo” but that was too wimpy for an Italian roaming the jungles with a machinegun and a heart of vengeance. Next came Rambo: To Hell and Back, and that sucked too. Well, we’re ignoring the rest and giving you the dope straight on. Rambo 4’s title is: Rambo! Applaud, people!

Not only is this going to cause oodles of confusion when you want to watch all the Rambo films in order some 30 years later, it is also rather unoriginal. I mean, when people say a new Rambo movie is coming out, you don’t need an imposing “RAMBO” to tell them that. Sheesh.

They even came out with a poster, which in all its clichéed glory, captures the essence of post-2005 movie posters. Black and white? Check. Cool pose? Check. Sublime hints at violence without being overly graphic? Check. Mild deja vu? Check again. Here it is (click for larger pic):

Rambo Poster Small

Now, we’ll move on the next Harold & Kumar flick, something that will hopefully involve lesser machineguns, jungles and brawny muscles. This time, the two are locked in more trouble and the title reflects that. The title is (drum roll): Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. Bold, satirical and it has the “zing” factor.

The movie’s earlier title was Harold & Kumar Go To Amsterdam, but they scrapped it when they realized that the two don’t go to Amsterdam anyways. Similar reasons were involved when they scrapped the title “Harold & Kumar Conduct Vegetable Slavery and Eat Carbonated Orangutans”.

In the movie, the duo are mistaken for terrorists and locked up in Guantanamo. They escape, Homeland Security chases them, blah blah. You don’t need more in a synopsis, believe me.

And last but not the least (*dodges abuse*), we have the title for the new Wolverine movie. The movie will focus on everyone’s favourite admantium-laced X-men member with a penchant for violence, Wolverine. The movie is dubbed X-Men Origins: Wolverine and that sounds decent to me. In fact, it hints at more X-men movies focusing on character histories, which isn’t an entirely bad thing. Just count me out when the Cyclops one comes out.

Also announced is that the movie will be released somewhere in May 2009. As we have reported before, the summer of ’09 (heh) is going to kick ass considering the awesome barrage of movies coming out. All we need to finish it off is a sequel to 300.

I’m, uh, going now.

Ellen Cries over Dog = Story of the Week

Not to make fun of Ellen DeGeneres, but her story is one that breaks the heart and makes the mouth smile. Basically her adopted dog had to be returned because she gave it to another family to keep without filling out the proper paperwork. What has followed has become the story of the week. She pleaded with the adoption agency and they didn’t care. Word spread that the dog had a new family and BAM people start sending death threats to this new family. Ellen has had to tell her audience to stop their insanity.

I like dogs but seriously not this much.